YES, YOU CAN!

I followed up the presidential campaign that went on for months and was really thrilled at the resilience and tenacity Barack Obama exuded.

He must have been laughed at by his peers for such an 'awkward' dream when he told his friends, mocked at by his colleagues at the firm he worked with when he went ahead to contest for the House of Reps but failed.

Getting up to head for a tougher task must have taking a lot of 'will-power pushing' from him but he made it to the Senate for three terms, yet he went on to contest for presidency.
Many people would have backed out when they saw Senator Hillary Clinton, believing her husband's supporters would apply their midas touch to her campaign but NO! He wouldn't be swayed. He moved on.

Even when the race seemed tougher, it appeared he got even more challenged to make it to the end and YES, he did make it.

Barack Obama, through his resilience brought to reality a dream Great Martin Luther King had.
It took his resilience to bring smiles to the black race.
Just one man's dreams, one man's efforts and one man's success!

He did not have two heads nor four feet but he kept pressing on.

Who told you, you can't make it?


Now get up and dust your butt!

The only thing that can hinder you from achieving your dream is 'YOU'.

The world sees and accepts what you exude. If you exude lack of confidence and willingness to be a loser, the world will see you as that.

Now take your pen and paper and scribble down what you would love to be; whether or not your present condition supports it.

Keep your eyes on that dream, never loose sight of it. No matter what you are going through.

Strategize positive ways to achieve that dream. Write out detailed stepped on achieving it.

Set a time frame for achieving it. Don't be too hard on yourself; set attainable limits.

Never settle for less. No matter the little you are able to get, put in your best as if it(your task) were the best. Is it a job? Put your best into it, you are building your future.

Be diligent at what you do. It will someday speak for you.

Be honest and truthful. Uphold the principle of accountability on your finger tips.

And last but not the least, be persistent, no matter the set-backs, till you reach achieve your goals.

I have been challenged by Obama's story and i believe, the fact it has never been done does not mean it can never be done.

Remember, put all your hopes and dreams in the able hands of God and ask Him for the grace to see you through.

I believe YOU CAN!

I love you!

- 'N'

STOP LISTENING, BELIEVE IN YOURSELF

Your goals are awkward!
You can never make it!!
You are heading for a downfall!!!

You don't have what it takes to be it.
Blah, Blah, Blah!

Other people can help or hinder you in doing what’s right for you but NO ONE other than you knows what is right for you, and NO ONE other than you is looking out for your best interest 100%. No one. This is not meant to scare you, but to liberate and empower you. Once you realize that everyone is doing what’s right and best for them in that moment, you are free to make your own decisions as to what to do for yourself.

Other people spend an awful lot of time, often with the best of intentions, trying to make other people conform to their view of how things are or should be. This can take the form of artful persuasion or it can take the form of bloody warfare; either way the root is the same: trying to impose one’s will on another.

Once we understand the Law of Attraction, once we realize the awesome creative, reality-shaping power each of us possesses, the implications of such a statement are stark; people’s lives are being dictated by other people. How about yours?

Are you letting someone else tell you what to think and believe and how to live? Or are you, under the guise of love or morality, trying to decide how other people live? Both circumstances are detrimental to the joy and fulfillment of all involved.

The more you push against something, the more you validate and therefore strengthen its existence, so in trying to change something about another person you only enforce the very behavior and situations you’re trying to eradicate. You create the exact opposite of your desired result and, in doing so, reinforce your own belief that the situation is as bad as you thought it was.

The way to change the world is to change yourself, not other people; live the life you dream of and the world you live in will mold itself to the world of your dreams.
One person is not right and the other wrong. One person’s judgment does not determine another’s worth. One person’s fulfillment is not dependent on another’s approval and one person’s happiness is not determined by another’s actions.

You and other people are different for an incredibly important reason, one that’s crucial to the very nature and purpose of life in the Universe. The contrast and variety we experience, that which seems to cause so much conflict and disagreement, is the only way for us unique extensions of a singular consciousness to develop preferences and perspectives, the very stuff that desires are made of.
And that’s what the Universe is made up, after all: the ever-changing stuff of our
desires.

Here’s how it works with you and your perfect partners in creation known as other people:

• You change your reality;
• Other people drawn to your reality gravitate towards you and help strengthen and expand it;
• Other people repelled by your reality gravitate away from you, keeping you free of their encumbering influence on further strengthening and expanding the reality you’ve created.

Isn’t that nice for everyone? Give these a second thought, will you?

Love you,
'N'.

IT'S TIME TO CALL IT QUIT!

A friend once said that most marriages are forced to survive. When i asked what she meant, she noted that most married people were unhappy but would swallow the painful pill of endurance to stick to their spouses.
Whatever the case maybe, i'm thankful we have to date before tying the nuptial knots. So we can decide to walk out or stick to the dude, aight?

The big question is, When should a relationship break up?

Simple: when it no longer provides benefit to one or both partners. In other words, if you aren’t getting what you want or need from being with someone, or if you recognize that your partner isn’t getting what they want or need it’s time to move on.

I’ve had some people say to me, “Isn’t that a little selfish – what about the person you’re dumping?” To this I answer, “How can it be good for someone to stay with a person that doesn’t want to be with him or her?” After all, how low does your self-esteem (let alone your self-respect) have to be to want to do this? It is by far much healthier to go about finding the relationship that works for you – that gives you what you need, than to apathetically cling to something that isn’t fulfilling. Life is too short for this, and you deserve better.

So, how do you know when to break off your relationship? Here are 10 signs to watch for. Note that most people encounter one, two or more of these things periodically. However if you’re finding that you experience more than a few consistently – over a longer period, it’s probably time to move on:

10. You no longer look forward to spending time alone with your partner.
You may still have a good sex life (or not!) but actually talking to your partner seems like a chore. If spending time alone with your partner seems like a prison sentence you may be up for a parole.

9. You begin comparing your partner to others.
This is particularly true when other people seem more appealing to you. We all find others – often those we don’t have – attractive. If however, you find that you’re comparing specific traits – a person’s voice, their neatness, they way they carry themselves, etc., against others; especially things your partner can’t change - you should re-evaluate your relationship.

8. You criticize or “micro-manage” your partner.
If you’re always concerned that your partner’s socks aren’t exactly right for his pants, or that she wears too much make-up, or that he or she just can’t seem to take their responsibilities seriously, don’t look at them – look at yourself. People that are in love tend to look beyond minor annoyances to the bigger picture. If you’re having trouble doing this you may want to work on your exit plan.

7. You start trying to change your partner.
Many people fall in love with people that excite them, but find that this excitement isn’t good for them in the long term. On the other hand, they may find someone “stable” that doesn’t provide enough variety in their relationship. If you find that you’re constantly trying to convert your partner from the person you fell in love with, it may be time to bolt.

6. You re-connect with ex lovers.
It’s one thing to send an ex-girlfriend a birthday card. It is entirely another to take her out for dinner and a movie “just to catch up”. The trick here is to be honest about your motivations. If you had the chance to sleep with him or her, would you? Are you looking for approval or an ego-boost from him or her? Have you forgotten why you broke up in the first place?

5. His or her jokes are no longer funny.
Of course, you may have heard them 1,000 times, but people in love tend to look beyond this repetitiveness. They see that their partner is being humorous, not how funny something is or isn’t.

4. You’re doing all the giving – or all the getting.
Relationships are about mutual benefit. If one partner is benefiting over the other, the relationship isn’t healthy. This doesn’t mean that everything should be exactly balanced. For example, just because one partner spends #50,000 on a birthday present, that the other should spend exactly that amount. Nor does it mean that both partners should always split a dinner cheque. If one person pays all the time, and the other doesn’t at least cook a few meals, there is something wrong – and unhealthy about the relationship.

3. You constantly find ways to include others in your activities.
Always including others indicates that you’re not looking forward to being alone with your partner. Of course, you need time with your friends, but if you never have private time, or the only time you’re alone is when you’re having sex, perhaps the problem is in the company.

2. Your friends no longer like being around you when you’re with your partner.
Your friends don’t have to dislike your partner – perhaps they don’t like what affect your partner has on YOU! Consider that your relationship with your friends is at least as important in the long run as your relationship with your partner. In fact, it may be MORE important as they will see you as you really are, and will be there even if he or she isn’t – IF you treat them right!

1. You no longer feel good about yourself.
At first, this seems like a strange warning sign about your relationship, but think about how you felt when you first hooked up with your partner. You felt great – about yourself and your world. If this is now lacking where it was there before, you may want to look at your relationship.

So when you feel the aforementioned or perceive as the case maybe, i suggest you kiss your partner goodbye.


Lots of Love,
'N'

AM I IN LOVE?

I remember when i first fell in love. Boy, it was so feverish.
I kept having inexplicable thumps in my heart. My tummy churned at the sight of him and my face shone like the sun. I felt i would die if i didn't see him every hour.
Those days of innocence... Was that really love?

One of the toughest questions in life is, “Is this love?” How can you know for sure that you are really in love? When you were a kid, you might have thought you were deeply and madly in love with the girl who sat next to you in Biology.

You thought about her all of the time and you figured you’d grow up and marry her. Now that you’re older, you probably realize that those were your pubescent and confusing hormones in action.

The trouble is, your hormones can still make you think you’re in love! So how do you know if it’s love, lust, desperation or a crush? The incredibly heady feelings that precede real love leave us with pounding hearts and churning stomachs.

These feelings can make you feel good, excited, foolish and like you could sprint five miles. They’re all a part of love, or the beginnings. But before we look too closely at love, let’s take a quick look at those feelings that can (sort of) mimic love:

Lust – It’s simple to identify because it’s based on her sexuality. You aren’t too interested in what she thinks or the names of her two cats. Lust doesn’t often turn into love, but it’s nice to be in love and feel lust for that person.
Desperation – A sinking feeling of grasping. You feel like you really need her to like you and you can’t stand to think of her with anyone else. You just want her to
want you.

A Crush – It’s sort of like the beginnings of love. You feel all of those butterflies or bumble bees in your stomach when you see her. You think about her a lot. You grin when you think about her. A crush begins the same way as love, and sometimes turns into love over time.

But love, once the excited butterfly stage passes, grows into something that a crush itself does not, and desperation or lust can’t. The signs you’re in love are subtle, but you can recognize them:

You still like (love) her after she’s done something annoying. You might be ticked off at her if she’s done something really bone-headed, but you still want to be with her. Not because you’re desperate and you just want her to be the one, but because you still truly like her.

You’re willing to do things that you wouldn’t have considered in the past. Not bad things, but things that are just weird for you – like going to the ballet with her because she loves it so much. You aren’t doing this because she’s guilted you into it, or because of some pathological need to please her, but because you sincerely want to do things with her that will give her pleasure.

You begin to imagine the future with her in it. Not just next week, but the next year or decade or a lifetime. You think about growing into a life with her and it doesn’t nauseate you or cause panic.
You feel loyal to her.

Knowing you’re in love isn’t about the excitement, although it’s nice when you have an exciting relationship even after you’ve been together for years. Love is about the comfort and the feeling of being able to share your life and yourself with her. When you start feeling like that, you can safely assume that you’re well on your way to being in love.

Remember, I Love You,

'N'

MEETING HIM ON YOUR TURF

Many singles believe they can only meet the person of their dreams at colourful events or designated spots.
Oh, he's got to be at my friend's wedding. He is likely to be at the Summer Camp, I've got to look drop dead gorgeous today 'cause he will definitely be at the Workshop...

For those who are single and looking for a relationship there is always the opportunity to meet potential partners. Wherever you go and whatever you do, it is likely that you will meet people along the way and will have the opportunity and maybe even foster romantic relationships.
Weddings, Camps and Workshops aren’t the only way to meet potential partners. Your everyday activities afford you the opportunity to meet new people and foster relationships with them. Whether you are running errands or engaging in a hobby, you are likely to find people participating in the same activities as you.

Shopping is an example of an everyday activity that can lead to a potential date. Everyone has to eat and it is likely that the grocery store will be visited by at least a few other people during the course of your visit, even if you shop at off peak hours.
Single women in particular are likely to meet single men while out grocery shopping. In most committed relationships either the woman does the shopping by themselves or the couple shops together. Very rarely do men in a committed relationship take care of the grocery shopping responsibility for their household. For this reason, if you see a man out shopping by himself, it is very likely that he is single. Single women can take advantage of this fact by approaching men with high hopes that they are single.

Striking up a casual conversation about the quality of the produce or the prices of the dairy products is one way to get a conversation going. Once you make the initial contact, it may be easy to maintain the conversation. If things seem to be going well you could consider asking your fellow shopper to join you for coffee or lunch to continue your conversation in a more relaxed atmosphere.

Those who enjoy working out and embrace fitness as a part of their everyday life may find the opportunity to meet potential dates at their local gym. This is a great opportunity to meet individuals who share similar interests. Whether you enjoy using the weight machines, the cardio machines or running on an indoor track you are likely to notice potential partners who share your commitment to fitness and who are equally dedicated to obtaining optimal health.

Consider approaching another member of the gym and strike up a conversation about how getting to the gym is a tremendous effort but once you are there you always wind up feeling better about yourself. If you are both enjoying the conversation try inviting your new friend on a date that includes physical activity such as mountain biking or hiking.

Singles who enjoy reading may find that a library or bookstore is an excellent place to meet potential dates. Chances are that you already frequent these locations so next time instead of focusing on the aisles of books, try noticing the other people in the library or bookstore. Wander the aisles as you normally would but pay special attention to those who share your interests. One way to start a conversation in this situation is to offer your opinion of a book that you notice someone considering.

They may be trying to decide whether or not to check out or purchase the book and if you can offer them your opinion it might help them make their decision and also elicit and attraction to you. They will be flattered that you noticed them and appreciative that you offered your opinion on whether or not to invest time and money into reading the book.

Many libraries have conference rooms available for use and many bookstores have coffee bars within the store making these two locations perfect for impromptu dates. You could suggest continuing your conversation in one of the conference rooms or over a cup of coffee. This offers the opportunity to have an immediate date and also offers the security of having your first date take place in a well-populated, public location.

People are everywhere and it is almost impossible to leave your house without meeting at least a few people along the way. Whether you are completing mundane errands or participating in a leisure activity you are bound to meet a few people who could be potential dates.

Knowing how to start a conversation and how to parlay that conversation into a date, if things are going well, will help you to turn any situation into an opportunity to meet potential dates.

Now you've got these hot tips on dating on your turf, put these into action and come back smiling to my blog.

Love ya!

'N'

GETTING OVER YOUR EX.

Heart-breaks could be life-changing. It either softens and weakens you or harden and toughen you.
But beneath the seeming toughness lies a vacuum aching to be filled. Sometimes we suppress the hurt and try pretending the hurt no longer exists. It's great to be strong but how about trying these...

Getting over someone whom you devoted all your time for so many months or even years is no walk in the park. Undergoing the process of denial, depression and anger is natural but sulking in your room for longer than necessary while watching the whole world passes you by isn’t healthy anymore. Wake up! You need to move on.Here are few tips on how to start picking up those pieces down to the fixing your broken heart.


1. Cry.

Face the fact that you’re sad and depressed. There’s no point of hiding it to the world most especially to yourself. Lock yourself in your room and cry. Sob or even wail all you want, it’s alright. Just cry to let out all the heartaches you are feeling. We who have been hurt before know it hurts so badly and the pain is so unbearable. You can let it out by all means. You might get puffy and swollen eyebags but at least you’re not stressing your way to sickness. Remember, it is healthy to express your anger and hurt. You can vent your feelings and relieve the tension and stress you feel inside.


2. Lend Some Ear.

When in pain and confused, it is always advisable to have someone around. Pouring over your sentiments with a friend over a bottle or a cup of coffee is a great catharsis. Who cares if you have told the story a hundred times already to your friends? As long as the anguish is still there just keep on talking. It will soothe your soul.


3. Don’t Listen to Love Songs.

As we all know, love songs tend to stir our emotional side, so be wary and don’t let yourself indulge into listening to love songs when you’re broken hearted. You’ll end up feeling like a complete loser and that’s the last thing you want to happen.


4. Keep Yourself Busy.

Do the things that you neglected to do because you were busy with someone else before. Finish your project that you left idle for almost a month now. Open that novel where your bookmark has been on the same chapter for already a year. Do all the things you’ve been dying to do before but just didn’t have the time. Organize an out of town trip with your friends or try hosting a party. Be with happy people and absorb their vibes.


5. Reminisce.

This may sound weird but is sometimes effective. If avoiding all the places you two have been and all the things both of you were doing before didn’t come up with a good result, then might as well try this one. No, reminiscing doesn’t mean that you have to punish yourself by reliving the memories you once shared, it’s just a way of making yourself immune to all the pains he has caused and for you to face the reality. Remembering the good times you have spent together will somehow make you realize that life isn’t bad after all. Believe me, in time, you will just find yourself laughing at all the things that happened and it will somehow make you proud also because you have overcome them all.


6. Start a Diary.

Start writing in a journal and make it your new best friend. Jot down all the dreadful things that happened to you and purge out all the things that’s on your mind, no holds barred. Confess to your new best friend how despicable your boyfriend is and vow to forget him the soonest time possible.


7. Clean up the Clutters.

It’s time to pick up the pieces and clean up the clutters of your once shattered life. A closing doesn’t necessarily mean a shut down; it’s just a phase that everyone needs to undergo to pave way for a new start. Keep away from your sight all the things that bring back memories of you together. Put them in a box and make sure you’ll never get a glimpse of it to avoid temptation to look at them again. And when I mean keep away from sight, just toss it aside first, not return to the giver.


8. Pamper yourself.

Head to the spa, gym or even to the parlor for a complete makeover. Enough of the sulking days, it’s unfair for you to see him happy while you are still there in your room wallowing in despair. Give yourself a treat and stop looking miserable. You wouldn’t want to look wretched when the hands of fate suddenly give you the person who will completely ease your broken heart, would you?

Now you know how to get the burden off your chest, Stay hooked for more exciting tips.

Love y'all,
'N'

HANDLING DATING DISASTERS.

I love reading articles by other writers. Now this is one article that will come in handy someday... Have fun!

Even the most well planned date can turn into a complete disaster. The keys to dealing with these disasters as they arrive include preparing ahead of time, maintaining a calm attitude, being honest with your date and being willing to laugh at yourself in certain situations. Keeping these ideas in mind will help you to weather the storms that may arise on a date.

You and your date may be two very compatible people who are sharing a date filled with activities that you both enjoy but even this ideal date has the potential for disaster. One thing that can bring an otherwise fun filled date to a screeching halt is having the conversation come to a lull.

Even two people with a lot in common may reach a point on the date where the both run out of things to say and the conversation becomes awkward. This is perfectly natural as dating in itself is somewhat awkward so it is understandable that there may be moments when the conversation fades.

Although this is natural, if you allow it to persist the date could become a disaster leaving both of you feeling uncomfortable. The simple way to avoid this situation is to plan ahead and have a list of conversation starters planned. This doesn’t mean to actually bring a list along on your date and pull it out when the conversation fizzles out but do think about a few interesting things you would like to talk about on the date so that even if you get nervous, you will have a few ideas of what to talk about.

Choosing a very popular restaurant can also have the potential for dating disaster. If you plan to go out on a weekend night to a very popular restaurant you run the risk of having a substantial waiting period before you are seated. If the restaurant does not take reservations and you are determined to take your date to this restaurant, be prepared for the long wait.

While you are waiting, it is important to maintain a calm attitude and not become agitated by the length of the wait. If you become upset, your date is likely to sense your frustration and will also begin to feel upset. Remaining calm and keeping your date entertained with pleasant conversation is one way to avert the dating disaster that often results from a long wait to be seated at a restaurant.
Blind dates are simply dating disasters waiting to happen. Friends and family members often think that they know who your ideal match would be but they are also often wrong.

When you agree to be set up on a blind date, it is important to go into the date with a spirit of adventure that will enable you to have a good time and see past any flaws that your blind date may have. The way to truly avoid a dating disaster though is to be honest with your blind date about your feelings. They are likely a little apprehensive about being set up as well but if you break the ice by letting your date know that you are nervous they won’t feel so nervous either. Also it is important to be honest on a blind date.

Failure to do so can lead to the disaster of having your date leave at the end of the date with an inaccurate opinion on your view of the date. Blind dates can be fun filled adventures if you allow honesty to prevail.

Another popular dating disaster involves one of the members of the date, doing something that is embarrassing. Whether you trip while carrying dinner from a take out restaurant or spill hot chocolate on your date, your clumsiness is setting up the date for disaster. It’s important to remember that these mishaps happen to everyone and that they do not mean that the date has to end immediately. If you are able to laugh about the incident, your date will realize that it is okay for them to laugh as well.

However, if you are uptight about the incident and refuse to see the lighter side, your date will feel awkward and not quite sure what to say. Letting your date know that you see the humor in your mistake helps to avoid a dating disaster.
Every date has the potential to lead to disaster but in most cases these disasters are easily avoided or solved.

Being calm and accepting of your own faults are two simple ways to solve dating disasters. Also, being prepared for certain situations can be one way to put a quick end to dating disasters.