Crush

A crush is unarguably the pressing- feeling to have a relationship with an individual; male or female. With the way crushes come, you could feel you will never remain the same except you have romantic dealings with the individual you idolize. Some crushes could make one loose his sense of belonging. You sulk or over-react to draw the other’s attention. Sometimes, the belongings of this individual in your possession could turn to the person in your mind but no matter what it seems, it could be frustrating.
Crushes come in various forms. Some could be mild; in the space of some minutes, it’s gone, while some could be intense and last for months.
The irony of crushes is the person you have a crush on may not know you are going through a tough time within you. He or She may have the same feelings towards someone else. Having a crush on someone is not a sin but the motive behind it; the imaginations you carry, could be sinful. Almost everyone walking on the surface of planet earth has encountered one at a point in his life. So don’t feel you are the only one in this.
I once had a crush on a young man, I felt I would die if he did not accept me. I had it going for a period of 11 months but i could not tell him and coincidentally, he never knew I had this crush on him. I emaciated, lost appetite, lost focus in my studies because he occupied my thoughts. When I finally had the chance to get really close to him (not dating him), I began to see many things about him I detested. He was proud, he believed he would never ask a girl out, girls always asked him out, he womanized, I would not want to make him look so dirty but the point is, he was not worth the stress. The crush left in a rush and never returned. If a guy has a crush on a lady, it’s easy to tell the girl the way he feels but the reverse is the case for a girl. What if the guy makes jest of you before his friends???
Now I’m not trying to be a feminist here. The feeling of being turned down is worse than the crush itself so what do you do if the crush is crushing you?

THE WAY OUT

I) Is he worth the stress? Find out who this guy or girl is.
II) If the feeling is crushing, pick out a flaw of his or hers and kill the feeling with it.
III) Occupy your mind with something else. Learn something new.
IV) The hurt of rejection is worse than a crush. Think of this and retrace your thought.
V) You could joke about it with friends; the warmth of friends can fade hurt.
VI) If you are a guy, you could try telling the person what you feel but for ladies, Don’t!
VII) If you ask a guy out and he accepts you, the wheel of the relationship is all yours to steer. You will be going after the man in search of his love while he may be running after someone else.
VIII) It is either a man loves you from his heart or he does it out of sympathy. With time he will grow out of that feeling and go after the lady of his heart.
IX) Men love being the chaser not being chased after.
X) Ask God to give you the grace to overcome the crush.
My dear, give it time and it will fade. It may sound hard but believe me, it works. You deserve someone who would love you from the depth of his or her heart. God does. He will never laugh at you for opening up to him. He will rather help you get out of it and provide you with one who will love you from the depth of his or her heart. If you are a guy and you have opened up to a lady about your feelings and all she did was turn you down, never mind. She does not deserve you. Give God a chance and in less than no time, you will have someone who would give anything to have you.

HEARTBREAK?

It crawls down one's spine as though a drop of honey. Slow, sticky, painful. It stops at the chest with a dull pang. threatening to cease one's breath. unconsciously, tears cascade down your cheeks as your entire being recks in spasmic sobs. I know that feeling!
Many things lead to heart break but the most common is when your loved one jilts you. When the well of love in you was just beginning to pour forth it's content. Sometimes, the fear of heart break could make people give up the hope of ever falling in love. there's no way you'll fall in love without entrusting a part of you into the other's hands. By a part of you, i mean your heart. Some people just choose to misuse such opportunities by taking the others love for granted. I could go on talking about the process of heartbreak but i would not want to bore you with that. Instead, how can you overcome a heartbreak and possibly love again.
It may seem the world has lost it's worth at the face of a heart break. You may attempt harmful actions but one thing for sure you need to ask yourself is, Is this man or lady worth my hurting myself? Because the truth is, no matter how much you hurt yourself, the culprit will never mind. Possibly in the process of executing such harm on yourself, the other may be having the fun of his or her life. So why hurt yourself? No one deserves the hurt instead those who do will never hurt you!

Now how can you handle a heartbreak?

- He or She expects you to sulk over the incidence, instead, crush the issue beneath your feet in your mind.

- Stay around your family for warmth, if you have none, try hanging out with friend.

- Never let your friends know about the break up, to avoid taunts.

- Wear a new look.

- Develop a new positive attitude and hobby.

- Smile, no matter the hurt. It will gradually fade off the hurt.

- New vibrant ward robe.

- Renew yourself. There's someone out there who will stop at nothing to have you. Look good to attract him or her.

- Learn something new. Something to enhance your skills and take your mind off thinking.

Sticking devotedly to this will cause a positive outburst in your life.
Remain beautiful!

Dealing with a complex.

Bose was a pretty but quiet girl. She was intelligent but would never utter a word in class, when a question was asked, for fear of being laughed at by the rest of her class mates. This fear extended till she was a working class lady. She was seen as unproductive as she could not provide the company she worked in with ideas. Why? She was scared of being laughed at. Need I tell you she did not get promotions as expected? Inferiority Complex!
It bites deep into the flesh of people. It makes them feel they can’t when actually they are. It ruins people’s chances of making it in life; venturing into opportunities.
Many people get bitten by the bug of at early ages. Some got it even in the womb. Surprised? Now let me break that down. Some people were born out of wedlock. Their fathers rejected paternity to them, their ‘supposed’ grandparents made their mothers go through hell because of the mistake and when they were born, they were not celebrated like other babies are. They grew in an unfriendly environment and just got surprised to see other kids treated with so much love. Now when their peers boast of the love and attention they receive from their parents, all they do is sit in a corner to listen and wish they had this treatment. They stay away from people for fear of being exposed. They get scared that anyone would know their family story and call them ‘Bastards’. Inferiority emerges in full force. Some who would want to be heard would break down the walls of their fears and get forcefully accepted. These kids turn into bullies because they would not want people to trample on their integrity. Complex!
Another type of complex comes from the experiences as a growing child. Parents make the mistake of preferring some of their kids to the rest. A child who was always scolded, never appreciated, never treated with love, has the tendency of developing a complex with time. The curses, abuses rained on the kid gradually sink into his sub consciousness. If he was always told he is a failure, he may gradually loose confidence in himself and believe he is definitely a failure. Some of us were fortunate to be praised almost all the time, that an inferiority complex never raised its ‘hydra head’ but a couple of us were not.

** ** ** ** ** **

Point 1.

- Even if the pregnancy was unwanted, you are not unwanted.

I’m not saying this to make you feel good; I’m saying it because it is a Fact! Your mother may have had a wrong timing and the pregnancy came but God never made a wrong timing, you came at the right time. What your parents did was just a process but God was your maker. You are his programme.Your mother was just a process to bring you into the world just as he used the Virgin Mary to send the Lord Jesus into the world. They may see you as a mistake but you are just a programme. Now all you have to do is discover your purpose and work towards achieving it. How do you get it, find out what your talent is, Sweetheart, that does the magic!

Point 2

- Do you know how many people wish they were You?

You think that is a tease. Definitely not, My Dear! Now let’s start with the process of your coming into planet earth. Do you know how many sperm cells that struggled to fertilize your mother’s egg in her womb? Each sperm cell is a human being that would have taken your place but emerged successful, the winner. Now you may say you were sent into a cruel environment or family. Now that was to groom you.
You would not be whom you are today if you did not have the experiences you had. The tough ones made you stronger and the nice ones refreshed you. So you succeeded being alive while the rest died in the ‘reproduction track’ unnoticed. So there was no way you could emerge winner if you were not special to God. The people you wish you were have their flaws which might be your strength. They would give anything to have it but it is solely yours for keeps. Develop it, Sweetheart! Read the page on ‘Who am I’ for more details.

Point 3. The Most Important.

How do You survive being ‘You’?

The Lord who created you is your strength! You are the apple of his eyes. He would not waste his time to create a worthless programme. Everything he created, he called good, so what right has anyone to say otherwise? Now turn to him for an understanding of what you were created to be. ‘He sees the end from the beginning.’ ‘He knew you before you were formed.’ Take King David for instance, incase you never knew, David was born out of wedlock. He was treated less than his brothers. He was left to fend for his father’s sheep, exposed to all types of risk. That he had to kill a lion and a bear by himself. God, who created him, was always there for him. even when Samuel, the prophet came to anoint the sons of Jesse, David was not brought out. They simply said there was one let in the bush. If it were not that God knew what he wanted, Samuel would have anointed someone else but God insisted on the ‘shepherd boy.’ When Samuel questioned God, he said ‘he searches the heart not the appearance.’ Then the little shepherd boy was anointed King before his elegant brothers.
Who said you are worthless?
Build your self confidence, believe in yourself ‘through Christ who strengthens you’ (Phil. 4:13) and soar through greater height. The sky is your stepping stone!
The problem is at not trying. If you try and it fails, keep trying till you get it. Never give up till it’s up! If you are scared of talking, build your confidence by reading wide. You don’t have to be a talkative, talk intelligently; when you must talk and where do you get the info from? Reading, listening and watching! You will be amazed at the outcome. Take a look at those whom you admire, do they have two heads? If they do, then give it up. They were not born with it, they developed it!
I’m waiting to get your feed-back on the outcome, I believe so much in you. Never forget that and don’t blush if I say I Love You ‘cause I really do love you.

Who am I?

Take a look at yourself... Hmm! Are you not just unique?

I believe everyone is unique because there is something about you that can never be duplicated. Let the best copier do his best, let his try with all his might, there is an area in your life no one can beat you to. So you see, you are unique. Some people maybe wondering" I have not seen that extremely special thing in me, what is she talking about?
Everyone has been blessed with a talent. Some have more than others but that does not matter, what does, is how you utilise it. I will talk about talents on some other page, for now, my focus is on You.
When you look through the glossy pages of Celebrity Magazines, the first thing that comes to mind is the the seemingly perfect nature of these people. You often wish you were as handsome as Ramsey Noah, Pat Attah, etc or as charming as Genevieve Nnaji, Omotola Jolade etc. it is normal to feel that way but where there lies a well of problems is when you begin to develop a complex because you believe you can never be as gorgeous as they are.
Dear, you may not be exactly like they are but you posess something they are deeply dying to have. Don't get depressed at the features you don't like in you, try to forget the bad features and concerntrate on accentuating the beatiful ones people commend you on. If you are a lady and you believe you are ugly, {sincerely i don't believe you are} get the right make-up and ask a friend of yours who is so good at making up, to do the magic. you will be amazed at the out-come. The way you look behind the make-up at the end of the day should not bother you. If you were to wipe off the make-up from the faces of all the ladies on the street, you will gawk at some. hey, that does not mean they are ugly!
If you are a guy, play on hair-cuts and beard shaving styles, till you get one that suits you. They can't look bad altogether. Now groom yourself, the nails, the hair cut or hair do, the dress sense. Create an identity of your own. Let people know you for looking good, if there's no money, just go simple but good. Once you have gathered confidence in your appearance, the rest of your self-esteem will grow.
Now discover what you can do unaided and without much efforts. This has got to be a positive thing. Is it drawing, playing field games, indoor games, singing, playing insruments, cooking...etc. it's a long list. Discover it and build it. Work on it everyday till it becomes perfected. Now make yourself derive pleasure doing it because you know many would struggle to do this without reaching a beautiful result like you have.
The next is working on your weaknesses. try to enhance your weaknesses. Don't be scared at it, the best way to deal with a problem is by tackling it,it may be a tough thing to do but i believe the more you tackle a weakness, the weaker it becomes.
See you on some other page!