Some people have encounter a lot of internal conflict within themselves. They yearn to be happy but believe their happiness lie in the arms of others. They may not accept this fact when confronted but if they look within, they'll discover they lean so much on others for happiness.
They care a lot about what people would think of them in certain situations more than how they would feel about themselves after embarking on solutions to such situations. I used to be one of such people. i know how it hurts to be rejected when all you want is love from others. But i later realized the truth.
If you don't love yourself, no one will love you the way you want to be loved. Our parents could be the cause of this feeling. Choosing our sibling over us in terms of love, care and confidence. They might have said you are good for nothing. That is not true. You are good for something. It's just sad enough they never saw beyond their noses.
Most of us have grown with that feeling. Some believe they can't do anything right. Some fidget when they are asked to make decisions. Instead of giving someone else the keys to your life to shuffle how about taking back the keys and re-arranging the rooms in your life your family, society and even you must have scattered. People who have made it in life don't have more heads than you do.
Here's an excerpt i got from Tom Steven's article. Enjoy!
Happiness is not caused by external conditions.
Happiness measures the harmonious functioning of our brain--
how optimally it is challenged and how much it is learning.
Overchallenge causes overarousal emotions like anxiety and anger.
Underchallenge causes underarousal emotions like
boredom and depression.
We can adjust our emotions like a thermostat
by adjusting the challenge level.
Belief in mental control seems like magic,
because that belief alone helps get control.
The six mental control strategies give you
basic tools to achieve mental control.
Learn how to CHUG-OFF
when you need to adjust your emotional thermostat.
CHOICE (Replace or convert the situation),
HARMONY (of motives through self-exploration),
UNDERSTANDING (the situation and creating a road map),
GOALS (To lower anxiety, set goals LAPDS--
lower, process, dynamic, alternative, simple),
OPTIMISM (that I can eventually be happy no matter what the outcome),
FOCUS (on the ball and ultimate concern).
Through strengthening your Higher Self and increased mental control,
YOU CAN CHOOSE TO BE HAPPY.
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